On the playground after school

The moms of boys were talking about the upcoming baseball season.  They were looking forward to their sons being on the same teams again so they won’t have to buy new uniforms this season.

One mom made a comment about how the poorer people are the more they seem to spend on baseball.  I was reminded of the pageant moms on “Toddlers and Tiaraa” spending thousands of dollars on dresses and coaching.

Parents are willing to spend all their money if they think it is their best or only option.

Some people I know look down on parents who buy name brand sneakers and designer jeans for babies who can’t even walk.

But, I understand.

If you have a crappy job and a crappy apartment and there is not much chance of anything changing  –but you can pull together a hundred dollars in cash, why not outfit your toddler in name brands.  You CAN do that for them!  They can look good while they are your baby.  It satisfies the heart the way a minimum wage job never will.  You’ll never be able to save enough for a downpayment on a house.  You’ll never be able to pay for college.

At least you have the means to make your baby look good!

Why not do the one thing that  you can do?

Makes sense to me.

There’s nothing wrong with finding joy in one perfect outfit.

Contrasts

Today, on the phone my mother she tells me she thinks the New York City middle school application process… “is just over the top as far as I’m concerned.  Goodness sakes!”

Today, I talked to a mom on the playground after school whose son, a classmate of my child, will be joining his older siblings at Poly Prep after 5th grade.

AND

Today, I heard via facebook that a fellow mom from my kid’s preschool class is happy that her kid got into Poly Prep.

We can’t afford that kind of private school.

I also saw via “linkedin” that a fellow RBB clown went to an (expensive) Quaker prep school before she went to Clown College.

One mommy-friend said of private school tuition: “Who can think of money at a time like this?”

I can.  I do. We can’t.

Today, I feel like crying.

She deigns to let me kiss her

My beautiful girl met me at the door so she could hand me her book bag.

I had the canvas bag containing her pajamas and toothbrush for the sleepover.

She didn’t need a kiss.The other mother encouraged her to give ME a goodnight kiss.

She’s self sufficient at a sleepover down the block.

She no longer needs me at nighttime.

My big girl.

Sigh.

We don’t have to worry about getting that call in the middle of the night and having to call car service so we can go and collect our little one who isn’t going to make it through the night without mommy.

I wanted to get past that.

But, now that it’s gone…

I miss it.

I miss my little girl.