Clownmommy

I did enjoy being told that I was part of a powerful group of women, both economically and politically.

I promise to use my blogging power for good.

The roundtable discussion about blogging and branding and that was pretty interesting.  I haven’t been involved in a discussion about getting paid for the work that we do…Oh wait, I do theatre (Mike Daisey explains it best)….Oh wait, I’m a mom… Oh, wait…, I volunteer at My Kid’s school…

That woman was right when she quoted her husband who said, “There is no way a group of men would be still blogging for free diaper bags“

OK, I was feeling good, now I’m depressed.

No, wait, I won’t get discouraged.  Some mom bloggers get free stuff to blog about and then they write about so much stuff they end up being hired by marketing companies.

Now I am really getting off course.  I’m a clown, not an ad exec

So anyway.

It was a fun work day first in the studio with the women clowns at a studio in the Fashion District then at the blogging mom event in Tribeca.

So after yummy Brooklyn supper on the the stoop of delivery  from The Smoke Joint I sit here now here I write on my MacBook while My Kid who was very excited about the Bejeweled video game and bottles of Powerade Play sports beverage I brought back from today’s event is enjoying her bath with the blue robot bath bomb from LUSH and soap from Carol’s Daughter–OK I’ll stop.

I was really nervous about attending this mom blogger event, meeting over 50 people who all write for public consumption is quite a lot to take in at once.  And there was the matter of the clown jam.

On Thursday when I was in Manhattan to have lunch with The Husband, I went to the Gap and bought a new pair of jeans, dark blue so that my legs would look thinner.  I knew I couldn’t wear what I usually wear.  I had to step it up a notch to make myself presentable.  I don’t know why we do that, don’t go to the effort to look good all the time, oh yeah, it’s a little bit time consuming.

In the morning as part of my getting ready, putting together two outfits for two completely different activities, clowning and PR networking, I was also focused on making sure that the toaster, the bread, the peanut butter and the washed apples were clearly visible so that My Kid could feed herself if The Husband was otherwise occupied.  So when it came time to print the e-mail with the address so that I could be organized and have it in my purse and the printer was out of ink and wouldn’t print…I started to shake.   Then when I had to wait longer than expected for a train…I had say meditative phrases to myself.  And when I came up onto the street at Penn Station I was thinking maybe I shouldn’t go into the studio at all, I will be late and then I will have to leave early, it will be so disruptive I should just call with my regrets, I tried to do too much today.  It wasn’t working out. I didn’t want to be disruptive by both coming late and leaving early.  I was only 10 or 15 minutes late to a 3 hour studio session.  Even though I had brought the Girl Scout cookies one of the clowns had purchased from my daughter, with me in my bag, yet another item on the list, I wanted to cancel.  But, the message on my phone, so casual, the door will be closed but we’re in studio 1.  So I went.  It wasn’t a big deal.  It would have been if it had been a rehearsal, but it was just studio time.

I awoke this morning from a strange dream where I lost my laptop while at a clown rehearsal.  It was so real I looked for my laptop first thing when I woke up.

With my laptop at hand, I looked up the online application for the New York Clown Theatre Festival.  I’m OK with not applying.

So while My Kid is otherwise engaged with her piano teacher and lesson, I am looking at the blogs of the other moms who will be attending the brand/blogger event tomorrow and I am intimidated.  That’s nothing new.  I’m easily intimidated like by people from New York–and I live in New York–so it’s just something I live with.  Anyway, a lot of these moms have blogs that are a lot cooler than mine and have a lot more links than mine.  In the lead up to this event they are writing about how they have been to many of these events before.  This will be my first one!

So, now I am having some angst about having a blog at all.

I didn’t set it up to review products in order to get free swag, but now that that is a possibility I don’t object.  I love me some free stuff.

However, that’s not why I started this blog.  I started it as a writing practice.  It’s working.  If I haven’t posted in more than a week I know that something is out of balance in my life and I probably ought to say something.  Sometimes I just write whatever.  But, more often than not, I become cautious and don’t want to post something until I’m sure I’ve not said anything snarky (which for some is the whole point of having a blog) because I come from the Midwest where “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”!  That philosophy is the complete opposite of a lot of the really fun to read blogs that I can think of off hand.

So, anyway…

With that in mind,  I will commence anxiety about what to wear so I won’t look too old and frumpy.  How should I do my hair?  If I wear heals and perfume can will avoid arriving all sweaty and smelly instead of  ”Red Carpet Casual”  ready to the event in Tribeca that I am going to straight from a clown jam at a studio in Midtown.  I’ll also need a red-nose clown ensemble that doesn’t take up very much room in the bag I be carrying around for the rest of the day.

Oh well, time to move on with the day, the piano lesson is over.

Cirque du Soleil is one of the companies with representatives at the blogging mommies event I will be attending tomorrow.  How cool is that!  I think I’ve found my tribe!

She was coming off the F train going downtown as I was getting on the F train going uptown, surprise, exhanging hugs and a hellos with a playwright I knew in Seattle, an exciting moment of fun in the middle of my day!

“Ohhh You’re warm and gushy like a pillow on Saturday”, says My Kid as she sticks her hand under my shirt and gives my belly the Special K pinch.

I’ve been invited to an event for moms who blog.  There will be swag.  I’ve heard of these events but I’ve never been to one before.  I’m kind of excited about it.  Maybe I have a future as a product reviewer pitch person.  Some of the moms in the blogosphere do a lot of that sort of thing all the time, they even set up separate blogs just for different kinds of product reviews.  I’ve certainly spent more time shopping and considering the merits of various products ever since I got pregnant, with My Kid, more than I ever expected.

I’m taking bets, that I will be up until the wee hours sometime next week putting together a show proposal. After all I did just speak with my puppeteer friend and she’d eager an excuse to get out of Vermont and head to the city to make some art…

In a conversation yesterday I was asked why I thought I wouldn’t be able to do a performance at night and still stay on top of my daughters middle school application related activities during the day. I suppose I could. But, on the other hand, a lot of psychic energy went into the performance at La MaMa last September and I am just now remembering how I was in six different productions between August and December of my senior year in high school and somehow never managed to complete a single college application. Just sayin…