Clownmommy

I appeared again at the New York Downtown Clown Revue as the cleaning woman (Maintenance Staff) character I have been working on for the past several months.

I got twice as many compliments on my work after the show as I did last month.  In answer to one, I responded “It’s coming along.” to which the fellow clown responded, “No, you’ve got it.”  which is really cool.

Perhaps it came together tonight because today was the first time that producer and MC, Christopher Lueck, and I actually took the time to talk through the show beforehand.  Perhaps it came together because the character finally has a name, “Aquarium”.

I could make a whole post about how I came up with that name and how Terrarium was a close second and how part of me is ready to open up the whole discussion with myself again and do more research, going on babynamer.com and looking for other long nouns with potentially pretty connotation and a Q-sound and an -elle or an -ette or an -ie sound at the end.  But, the name I have chosen will stick for now.

I had reservations about playing this character on Martin Luther King Day, because even though the character is definitely not African-American, some people have make the leap.  I winced when another clown referred to me (as yet unnamed) as Shaliqua, last month.  I like to think of her as one of the many unnamed children of  Brandine and Cletus on The Simpson’s.

Living in Brooklyn, as I do, I am so very aware of how pale I am.  But,  I did buy the wiglet in Fulton Mall.  It is the exact same brown as my own hair.  But, it does have that hair-so-processed-that-it-looks-like-unrolled-cassette-tapes look.  Still,  I am self-conscious and careful.  Unlike some clown’s I know, who go out of their way to provoke and push buttons.  That’s not my style.  I want to be nice.

The clown does not speak.  I am not Black.  Unless a person were to infer from the apparent occupation that…   Uh oh.  I wouldn’t go there…

Where I’m from nearly everyone is White, which means that if White people don’t do that job then nobody does that job.

If somebody is doing that job then it must be done.  If it must be done, it must be important.  If it is important then it has dignity.

Which brings me to the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. whose life we celebrate today.

When I’m at home, I listen to NPR, and today there was a segment on Dr. King’s involvement in the labor movement–a topic chosen by WNYC producers for its timeliness due to the whole Mayor Bloomberg not having enough sanitation workers on hand to clear the snow because of recent layoffs and demotions.  Surprise, surprise the ad hoc contractors that he had counted on being available in case of emergency were otherwise engaged on the day after Christmas.

So anyway, I have this character who I imagine belongs to a union and as such is paid a living wage and has health insurance for herself and her children, and a sense of dignity.  The indignity lies in having to be at the NYC Downtown Clown Revue venue as presented by the shameless huckster Christopher Lueck and the rest of the college educated 30-somethings who make up acts instead of going out and getting real jobs.

Therein lies the comedy.

Before the show tonight, I was talking to a friend about the role I play, and she said, “I wonder how people with jobs like that can ever be happy.”

“It’s the hair and makeup.”  I replied.

I had my reservations –was called out for ranting about her by friends–even–.  And yet, my fears–at least according to the New York Post– are completely founded!!!

WTF?!

Cathie Black, in a meeting at Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver’s office, jokingly made a clever response to parental concerns about public school overcrowding (mind you, these were the concerns of articulate college-educated white professional public school parents!).  Her response was:

“Could we just have some birth control for a while.  It really would help us all out.”

Great.  Thanks.  Yeah.  We’ll take you up on that…

But what about the kids that are already born???!

She gives Catholics from Chicago–from which I am descended–a bad name!

After that gaffe, she listened some more and then concluded:

“Well thank you.  What I can just say is, in conclusion –and I don’t want to start the whole conversation again–is that I could pretty much have this conversation all over the city.  You may not think that the Upper East Side has its issues, and the Upper West Side has it’s issues or somebody else has–…

“They all have their issues.  What they care about us that their child have a great education.  They may want this kind of a school or that kind of a school.  So it is–and I don’t mean this in any flip way–It is many Sophie’s choices; With a, you know, with a board on the wall and saying:

“Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da.

However, what I would suggest, and I , and I, I…uhm…listened to you Eric; and I have not seen this act–which not to say that it has not been somewhat on my desk–But, that we will listen about the planning part of it.  And, perhaps, we haven’t done as good a job.  I can’t answer that.  You know the right and wrong and it’s clear that your needs are great and we will try to deal with them as well as we responsibly can.  But, just know that everybody, just like you, feels passionately about what they also want, and so, well, try to do the best we can–the best we can.”

My reaction:

We are so f#*^%d!

This is what I heard Cathie Black say:

1) “Upper West Side–Upper East Side–this meeting is taking place in Lower-Manhattan–I don’t even remember the names of the other boroughs.”

2) “People want to have a say in what kind of school their child attends.  But we just can’t make that happen.”

3) “Some schools are good.  Some schools are bad.  La, la, la, la, la, la, la.”

4) “I have heard you.  It doesn’t affect me.”

5) “You get what you get and you don’t get upset!”

I thought I knew what I was doing.  But, apparently I don’t.

This morning was My Kid’s first soccer game of the winter season.  She got her uniform and everything.  We missed the first game last week because of the FLL tournament.

I thought everything was fine…

Until I started talking to the other soccer moms on the sidelines during the game.

All of a sudden I started second guessing the schools that I had put down on My Kid’s DOE form AND the order in which I had listed them!

One of the other mothers said that if we listed the Brooklyn Gifted and Talented School as our number one and number two choices, (which I was led to believe was the way to go given what the  guidance counselor at My Kid’s school had said), if My Kid passed the test and was accepted into that school, that is where she would have to go, even if she didn’t want to.

The Brooklyn Gifted and Talented school was the first school I saw.  Of course I signed up for everything.  I didn’t know what else was out there and the other parents were all saying; “There is nothing else out there!”

Apparently, two years ago, when the older siblings (with the Alpha Parents) of My Kid’s classmates applied to middle schools, the way it worked was this:

If you put down the Gifted and Talented school as your first choice which of course you may or may not get into you would also be assigned to another Brooklyn Middle School (Because, after all,  what are the chances of getting into the gifted and talented school).

However–apparently–the new rule is:

If you get into the Gifted and Talented school, YOU HAVE TO GO to the gifted and talented school.

You don’t get assigned to any other school–such as one that is less than an hour-long commute from your home…

So now, The Husband and My Kid believe that My Kid should NOT TAKE THE TEST to get into the Gifted and Talented School IN CASE SHE GETS IN because SHE MIGHT GET IN and she’d really rather go the school that is only 15 minutes away.

And after all she is only ten-years-old.

I am conflicted.

The Husband says that I should not be.  We should not let My Kid take the test.

We really don’t have anything to go on besides the playground gossip because the NYCDOE official boilerplate language does not in any way, shape or form, give us the information that we so desperately need.

Somehow, the friends whose marriage came to an end as part of the fallout of the New York City elementary school admissions process, come to mind on this morning.

All I could do was try to see to it that My Kid got a good night’s sleep.

All I could do was to offer protein snacks and water to My Kid.

All I could do was sit and wait while My Kid was interviewed.

All I can do is breathe.

I have developed a uniform which I wear when I visit schools to which I hope My Kid will be accepted with open arms.

I wear black, white and neutral tones with the exception of the pop of color as advised by the skinny lady in the pencil skirt on the TLC show, What Not to Wear.

I wear my chunky carved stone necklace (which is not really my style) because I hope it says; “statement piece”.

I hope it says: “I’m artistic!  As evidence; I present the chunky stone necklace purchased at a street festival.”

But, see how I pair it with a tailored jacket to indicate that I am a professional with multiple degrees.

However, I do hope you will think of me as the type of creative likely to have a flexible schedule which will enable me to volunteer during the school day more than the average parent–which I hope will more than make up for the fact that I cannot donate large amounts of money to your school.

Also, I have this nice charm bracelet with a quote on it by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.  Would you like to see it?

Look.  Lots of black.  That says, “I’m a New Yorker!”

Say something–but don’t say too much!

My child wants to be a physicist.

My husband is an executive.

Please let My Kid into your school.

Can you see (as I do) how much she belongs in your gifted student body.

I won’t say, “I’m a clown!”

No, not now.

Keep it a secret.

People stereotype.

I want them think I’m normal.

So they’ll let My Kid into their school.

I was in six different shows between August and December my senior year of high school.  I didn’t have to apply to college because I was going to the University of Montana to which I would be automatically accepted as a graduate of a Montana high school.

My 10-year-old daughter is applying to public middle schools in New York City and I have turned down performance opportunities in order to be available to guide her through the process.  Already she has done more work to get into middle school than I ever did to get into college and she is only just starting the interview/audition/test phase of the process.

Next Saturday she will have to miss a soccer game in order to take a test.

She doesn’t have a zoned school.  There is no default option.  We can’t quit the charade.

There was reprieve, but only a short one.  The applications to the NYCDOE ranking the schools in the districts in which we were eligible to attend were due and turned in on Friday December 17.  There was relief, release, and a few rankling conversations bringing up doubts about the ordering of particular schools due to the fact that the selective middle schools, the “It” schools are so popular that they do not even interview and consider students who don’t rank their school first or second.  So the difficulty for 5th graders and their parents is the mental machinations required to get to point of choosing “The One”, the one school, the best school, the school that the child wants to attend, the school parents want their child to attend.

The DOE would like us to believe they’re all fine:

“We expect all of our schools to be academically challenging and nurturing learning communities that cultivate the diverse interests and skills of middle school students.”

Ask yourself questions about your child and assess how good a fit each school would be for him/her:

*What are your child’s interests and strengths?

*What is your child’s learning style?

*Does he/she work best in a group or individually?

*Does he/she thrive in a more traditional environment or and open one?

Next Steps for Students:

Familliarlize Yourself with the Middle School Directory

Create a list of factors that are important to you in choosing a school:  your interest(s) and the schools special programs, size, location and the amount of time it will take you to travel there and back each day.

Are there lockers?  Is there a lot of homework?  Do you have to wear a uniform?  What time is lunch?  How many of my friends are going there?

Look through this Directory with your family.  Become familiar with the different middle schools from which you can choose and make a list of those that you think meet your personal interests.  For example if you are interested in taking Latin and playing Basketball, look for those things in the directory page.  Also be sure that you meet the Eligibility requirements for the school or program.

(FYI there is exactly one school available to our children that offers both Latin and basketball.)

• Write down any questions you may want to discuss with the support staff at your school or your teacher, as you review the Directory.

Why?

There are a few good and popular schools favored by the entitled well-educated white people of Brownstone Brooklyn and then there are all the others–many of which are filled with the children of  just as educated people of color who don’t feel entitled and have faith in the system.

I don’t know what to do with that.

…we talked about what happened in Arizona and asked My Kid if they had talked about it at school and she said, “Yes”.

She knew all about the girl who was at the event because she had just won a student government election and wanted to learn more about the political process.

My Kid and the rest of her classmates are learning all about the political process this year, studying the constitution and everything, in preparation for the big 5th grade overnight trip to Washington, D.C.  These kids, who grew up in post-9/11 New York City, know it could just as easily have been one of them.

I read about the New York connection to the grandparents of the little 9-year-old girl who was shot to death.   Dallas Green, had managed both the Yankees and the Mets.

But, nothing prepared them for this.

His wife made the call to their son after they saw his town on the TV news.

She was just casually wondering what the locals were saying about this Tucson shooting that had made the national news.

They were not prepared to find out that their precious grandaughter had been there, had been shot, and was dead.

Christina-Taylor Green and Sasha Obama are the same age.

There was a lot going on in the life of Christina-Taylor Green.  She was at the Congress On Your Corner event to meet Representative Gabrielle Giffords and learn more about the political process because she had been elected to the student council of Mesa Verde elementary school.  She had recently made her First Communion and was going to learn to play the guitar she’d just gotten for Christmas.  She was the only girl on her baseball team and loved swimming and horses.  The 9-year-old third grader was born on 9/11.

This is so sad.

My Kid’s team got the Judges Award!   The reason given had something to do with the 2nd and 3rd graders who proved that they belonged there in that competition.

Last year a second group of competitive “Lego Boys” graduated leaving my daughter as the most veteran member of the team.  It was intimidating.  The competition is for students through 8th grade.  Some of our smallest team members calmly controlled their robots next to middle-school competitors with facial hair!  Our kids held it together with poise and enthusiasm.  It was a joy to behold.   No wonder the judges gave this team an award.  Our teachers who sponsor the after school program were so proud, deservedly so.

An award for research went to the team from the Urban Assembly Institute of Math and Science for Young Women, which made my daughter’s eyes light up.  She wants to go to that middle school, only a block away from the NYU-Poly campus where the Brooklyn FLL Robotics Tournament was held.

Most my daughter’s friends want to go to schools that focus on the performing arts or maybe writing and drawing.  They and are not interested in going to an all girl math and science school even if it does have dance and art and three foreign languages.  I didn’t see many familiar faces from her Brooklyn Heights elementary school at the open house last fall.  Ideally that is because it’s a school intended for a very specific demographic to which my child happens to belong.  But, I’m afraid it is also because this school is not one of the schools that is on the radar of the uber-involved public school parents of Brownstone Brooklyn.

I suspect that parents of the Brooklyn Heights/Park Slope demographic are put off by the dearth of pale faces represented in the student body.

I came to the realization, during the course of this FLL Robotics Tournament, our fourth, that the Robotics Team is the only extracurricular activity at my daughter’s elementary school which includes borough-wide competition.  We we are exposed through FLL to large numbers of tech savvy children of color being videotaped and photographed with their robots by large numbers of involved parents of color who are spending all day Saturday whiling away the long tournament hours checking their blackberries and smart phones and working on their laptops while waiting for the next round of standing-up-to-cheer-for-kids-robots-and-schools.

When a family’s elementary school experience includes events like the annual Brooklyn Borough-wide First Lego League Tournament, they are less prone to dismiss a school at first glance because they don’t see their pink child reflected in the brown faces of the students attending that school, because they do see her there.