After we performed, I went with some of the other clowns and I went to Le Pain Quotidien which was pleasant in the rain. We shared a basket of bread as we drank our tea and coffee. One of the women talked about her vision of a little blonde girl in a strawberry field, the child of her future that she expects to have with a man she has not yet met. There was talk of communal living on organic farms and international travel and making art for arts sake.
They are younger than I and their lives are still full of possibilities.
One of them asked me if I liked being a mom because it seems like I don’t.
I left them talking there and went to pick up My Kid from her after school program. We dumped our stuff at the apartment and went right out again to check out the Middle School Fair at MS 113 on Adelphi. My Kid saw some friends who are in 5th grade. My kid is in 4th but I have heard the advice is to begin my research now so we can hit the ground running signing up for school tours and putting together application packages as soon as school starts for my 5th grader next fall. I have been advised to check out the schools by touring them this year and only take my child out of school to tour the ones I am willing to let her attend. I got to chat with fretful parents bemoaning the lack of good middle schools in District 13. One said that last year, one of the city-wide selective middle schools that everyone wants to send their kids to had nearly 700 applications for 60 slots. Another spoke of getting a new address in a different district. Another spoke of putting down a tuition deposit at a Catholic school. The school My Kid thinks she wants to go to was a no-show at this event.
It’s not that I don’t like being a mom. I don’t like confronting things like fake school choice and negotiating the limited options with a child who would dismiss a school out of hand because the uniform requires black shoes. These are things that make me frown.