Yeah, so last night and tonight part of me genuinely thought “Hey, maybe I’ll get to go to see a clown festival show… Yeah… Nah…
“I have some information I need to share with you.” says my child using the language of the education professionals.
She hands me a multiple-page handout entitled:
“Virtuous Expectations”
Let me just take a moment here to copy down a few of my favorite ways in which one can demonstrate an understanding of the “Expectations Definitions”:
Be Courageous. Be Just. Be Temperate. Be Wise.
(Of course as the parent I support this language and these goals–but as someone who has gone through adolescence myself and who has since observed an assortment tweens and teens in public and private settings noticing how prone they are to groupthink, exaggeration, fits of screams and giggles and not only a lack of preparation but lack of comprehension of the very concept…)
Here goes:
– Show appreciation by clapping when appropriate.
– Keep hands, and feet, and objects to yourself.
– Use a soft voice.
– On field trips: No eating or drinking on the train.
– In the cafeteria: Focus on eating first; Talk only to those across and next to you; Eat your food only.
Cell Phone Expectations: Use your cell phone only before ENTERING the building and after LEAVING the building. Your cell pone is away and off for the duration of the school day. Keep your cell phone to yourself. Keep your cell phone in your locker or backpack all day. Keep your cell phone turned off during the school day. (The NYC schools that I know of have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy regarding cell phones since so many of us parents who are starting to let our kids go places like school on their own really want and need our kids to be able to call us as soon as they get out of school, when they are about to go into the subway, and as soon as they come up out of the subway.)
Keep your hands and feet and objects to yourself.
Speak at an appropriate volume (no screaming, shouting, or yelling).
Leave school with necessary learning materials for homework.
(How many times does this say, “Keep your hands, feet, body and objects to yourself.”???)
If you’re ever going to need to spell this out–you do need to SPELL IT OUT FOR 11, 12 and 13 year olds!:
Be aware and stay clear of doors.
Keep appropriate spacing.
Walk directly to destination.
Watch where you are going.
Walk in the restroom.
There are many many ways to say things like: “Only eat at eating time in the eating place.” & “Keep your hands to yourself.” & “Talk at a normal volume.”
The school prohibits the use of electronics during the school day which includes but is not limited to: Cell Phones, IPods, Hand held video games and Cameras…
The time I spent at The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College comes to mind. In our daily morning meetings we were told: “Do not juggle fire in the parking lot!” “Do not juggle the produce at the grocery store!” “Do not get your ears pierced during your time at Clown College as it will interfere with your ability to apply your makeup completely.” ” Do not shave your head bald as you have already been fitted for a wig cap.” “Wash your dishes every day or cockroaches will be attracted to your room and the lovely Venice Villas management may have grounds to evict you….” and all kinds of things we should or should not do that had never even occurred to me.