Over the weekend I learned of a friend who found out her father had cancer and her sister has cancer within a 24-hour period which kind of puts all this stress about the middle school search to shame.
And yet there it still is.
My friend still has to turn in the triplicate computer application to the elementary school guidance counselor ranking the schools in order of preference by Friday December 17 just like I do.
But, she doesn’t even have the life she was living just last week. Her family situation may change so dramatically over the next few months that the middle school choice process that was making her go grey in October may be completely irrelevant by March.
One would think that if a person moved in the spring or summer of their child’s 5th grade year they would be set up to attend middle school in September. Not so in New York City.
Maybe we should move.
Over the weekend, we also saw friends who left Brooklyn for the suburban life in New Jersey. Their daughter will transition easily next September when she advances, along with most of her friends from elementary school, to the local middle school. They have only 3 schools to choose from. The one big school with lots of extras like band, drama, science and art, that most of the local kids want to go to and will go to and then there are just two smaller specialized schools. That’s it they’re done. Their daughter will continue on to middle school with most of her classmates from elementary school, joining with the kids from a couple of other elementary schools to make up the population of the local middle school.
I heard that of last years graduating 5th graders at my daughter’s elementary school, 14 was largest number of kids who went on together to the same middle school. A group of about nine was the second largest group. Other’s transfered to new schools along with only 2 or 3 familiar faces. Some bravely walked into an unfamiliar building last September as the sole representative from PS 8. That’s a lot to ask of a 6th grader whose family didn’t move over the summer.
I am reminded of that popular Judy Blume book from my adolescence; Are You There, God? It’s me Margaret. As a tween, I read that book primarily for the information about puberty. As a parent, I am aware of a thru line which completely escaped my notice when I first read that book. Now I know why Margaret’s parents left their Manhattan apartment and moved to a house in the suburbs during the summer before Margaret entered 6th grade. Growing up in Montana where everyone graduated from 8th grade and went en masse to the same high school it never even entered my mind that the parent’s decision to move might have everything to do with the New York City Department of Education.