I was really nervous about attending this mom blogger event, meeting over 50 people who all write for public consumption is quite a lot to take in at once. And there was the matter of the clown jam.
On Thursday when I was in Manhattan to have lunch with The Husband, I went to the Gap and bought a new pair of jeans, dark blue so that my legs would look thinner. I knew I couldn’t wear what I usually wear. I had to step it up a notch to make myself presentable. I don’t know why we do that, don’t go to the effort to look good all the time, oh yeah, it’s a little bit time consuming.
In the morning as part of my getting ready, putting together two outfits for two completely different activities, clowning and PR networking, I was also focused on making sure that the toaster, the bread, the peanut butter and the washed apples were clearly visible so that My Kid could feed herself if The Husband was otherwise occupied. So when it came time to print the e-mail with the address so that I could be organized and have it in my purse and the printer was out of ink and wouldn’t print…I started to shake. Then when I had to wait longer than expected for a train…I had say meditative phrases to myself. And when I came up onto the street at Penn Station I was thinking maybe I shouldn’t go into the studio at all, I will be late and then I will have to leave early, it will be so disruptive I should just call with my regrets, I tried to do too much today. It wasn’t working out. I didn’t want to be disruptive by both coming late and leaving early. I was only 10 or 15 minutes late to a 3 hour studio session. Even though I had brought the Girl Scout cookies one of the clowns had purchased from my daughter, with me in my bag, yet another item on the list, I wanted to cancel. But, the message on my phone, so casual, the door will be closed but we’re in studio 1. So I went. It wasn’t a big deal. It would have been if it had been a rehearsal, but it was just studio time.