Despite having a good time on the 4th of July I spent a good percentage of the next day filled with anxiety and stress. I should have felt good that I had just had a paying gig, but then I watched re-runs of “I Love Lucy” with my kid and instead of enjoying them I thought about how when I first became a clown the knowledge that she did the “I Love Lucy” shows in her 40’s made me think I still had lots of time in which to make my mark as a clown. I’m not feeling that way so much anymore. (There is also the shrinking amount of time in which to clean and pack and get ready for our trip to Montana which must also include being ready to hit the ground running at Kendall’s rehearsals the day we get back to New York, –clearing and readying our bedroom for the delivery of a new bed, by far the biggest job on my list– and being packed and ready to go to Toronto the morning after the last performance of “Clown Axioms”.) I drank too much coffee until I suddenly had to eat or implode. I quickly prepared a breakfast of vegetarian imitation bacon and fried eggs for the three of us while I listened to an NPR interview with Barbara Kingsolver talking about her book about her year spent eating in season food they had grown themselves. People with the cultural capitol to write books that are published about such things generally begin their stories by describing the beautiful property that they own, this book is no exception. And so a bitterness tinged the fresh berries, greens and apple juice I had purchased for more than twenty dollars at the green market in the park that morning.
In the afternoon we went to see WallE at Cobble Hill Cinemas (second time for My Kid and I, first time for My Husband). We played in the park and ate an old-school Italian dinner at the Red Rose on Smith Street. Wine and pasta in the company of my small family comforted and relaxed me even without the smug joy of preparing the dishes myself using homegrown produce.