working mommyclown nightmare

I dreamed I was at a clown conference at Seattle Center.  There were high profile stage and circus clowns teaching workshops including the man who had been director of clown college when I was there. There were inspirational clowns who worked with sick orphans in Africa.  I was excited to be talking to former CC classmates who had been working in the business for 20 years since I’d last seen them. 

We were walking to a workshop about hospital clowning in Uganda.  I was talking to old friends I hadn’t seen in years.

I had on a full Ringling style agent suit with wig and makeup and big shoes. 

My cell phone rang.

It was from my daughter’s school.

“Your daughter was not picked up fifteen minutes ago at 3 o’clock.  She’s still waiting to be picked up.  This is the third day in a row no-one has been here to pick her up.  Don’t you care about your child?”

The Missoula Public Library and The Book Exchange

I was literally plugging in my laptop so I can check my e-mail from a public wi-fi site (because my parents only have dial-up) when my cell phone rang.  It was Kendall asking if I’ve sent out the e-mail blast asking for donations for the troupe. Yikes I haven’t.  GUILT.  I’m a bad friend.  I am a bad company member.  I dropped the ball. Twice that I’m aware of–maybe three times if end up not making it to the Bigfork Summer Playhouse Reunion this weekend.  I’m here in Montana without a car and just today getting passwords and such so I can walk over to my brothers house in order to use my laptop outside of a coffee shop with wifi.  

Last night I really missed being able to check e-mail and facebook as part of my bedtime routine.  At the hotel in Seattle I’d go to the lobby for wifi or use The Husband’s bluetooth connection because I don’t have a crackberry of my own.

In Brooklyn before we left we made it to the good-bye party for the friends moving to Uganda but I didn’t get back to the friend running for office in Brooklyn who needed me to fax him our info because his campaign lost our donor card.  The Husband was too busy at work trying to get ready to leave town for a week.  I was cleaning and packing and trying to say good-bye to the friends who will have moved away by the time we get back to Brooklyn.  Things were dropped. Things were missed.

Now I’m at the public library where I have come with My Kid, Girl Cousin and The Grandparents.  The girls are signing up for the summer reading program (grand prizes provided by Dairy Queen) and searching the shelves for matching books to read to their dolls.

And now we’re at The Book Exchange where my father has a lot of credit and his grandaughters are sure to acquire some new books in the next few minutes.  While I try once again to go on facebook and see who I know from long ago who is in Missoula, Montana at this point in time.  Yesterday I got a call on my cell phone from an old friend and we were so excited to speak to each other that it took a while to figure out that I who live in Brooklyn am in Missoula and she who lives in Montana is in New York.

Now that I’m sitting here looking across the street at the fairgrounds where the rides and animal pens are being set up for the Western Montana Fair and My Kid is otherwise occupied I can’t remember what I wanted to say.  It’s just so weird being back in my home town, a not-young (this is a college town) mom, just visiting from my Brooklyn, New York.

And the girls are ready to go.

old friends and new creative work

8/4/09

 

The highlight of the day fro My Kid and The Mother-In-Law was lunch at the Rainforest Cafe in Southcenter Mall which has been inexplicably renamed “Westfield”.  As an aspiring downtown Seattle creative person I never went to that mall.  Then when we got pregnant and had a baby we started to go there frequently because of the nearby Babies R Us.

 

The Rainforest Cafe, impressed my kid to the point that it is now her second favorite restaurant after Dave and Busters (beating out Bubba Gump Shrimp).  The drinks were too sweet and the food too heavy.  But hey there were anamatronic monkeys, elephants and snakes, with live sharks in the saltwater fish tanks.  And the dessert brownie volcano was topped with a lit sparkler!  Other than that the mall was a bad mall according to My Kid did not get anything.  She couldn’t  even any clip-on earrings at Claires, her favorite mall store.  I looked at handbags, but I did not buy one.  She was upset that they were all over $100 and therefore not anything she could expect to get so she stopped enjoying the mall.  The only person who got anything at all was The Husband who purchased a much needed pair of casual sneakers to wear during the rest of the vacation.  And it must be remembered, My Kid did get the giant special frog-head glass with a toy in the bottom compartment at the Rainforest Cafe so it wasn’t like she was leaving completely empty handed.  But, her emotional state may have been entirely unrelated to the mall experience.  In the car her child’s piped up from the back seat asking if this was Tuesday:  

 

“Today is Eliza’s birthday and today is the day I’ll never see Mutessi ever again.”  

 

She was thinking about neighborhood friends back in Brooklyn,  one lives on our block, the other is moving to Uganda.

 

Because My Kid’s dark mood plans were changed and I hoped out of the car alone at the Northwest Film Forum while The Husband took My Kid and The Mother-In-Law to Uwagimaya to look for novelty erasers and snacks.  Then back to her apartment to make small repairs while I watched the evening of short films about water commissioned by the Seattle Office of Arts & Cultural Affairs with Seattle Public Utilities;


  “The projects reflect SPU’s management of the complete cycle of hydrology for Seattle’s water resources from drinking water through drainage, and Restore Our Waters, the city’s initiative to protect and restore Seattle’s urban waterways.”

 

Everything in the Northwest is green.  Even one of our old theatre friends now works promoting sustainable agriculture.

 

There were 5 films.  SJ Chiro (our Annex Friend) created a fairy tale based on a story by Brett Fetzer (another Annex Friend) narrated by Susanna Burney (another Annex Friend)  Cynthia Whalen (another Annex Friend) was in it.  Other people we knew from our time at Annex worked on the film and some were at the screening and it was good to see them and go to Eleseyan afterwards for some yummy Seattle microbrew.

 

But, I was filled with mommy guilt throughout entire film event.  My Kid would have enjoyed the short films, especially the stop action animation piece in which the role of water was played by clear glass marbles and the two live-action stories featuring children near her own age.  I wish she had been there to see some kids on screen from outside the Disney Studio stable and I was blaming myself for not monitoring everyones protein, rest and happiness levels in the hours ahead of 7:00pm in order  to alter the balance of my child so that we could have gone as a family to see the films and friends.  Besides, there were some friends’ kids in the audience she might have played with.

 

Two of the films featured novelty photography and modern dancers in the rain which reminded me why I was hesitant to major the arts while at the University of Montana.

 

 SJ Chiro’s films and Kendall Cornell’s latest work Clown Axioms both rely on fairy tale imagery and that is exciting to me.

more cool friends moving away

The day before we left for Seattle there was a party for neighborhood friends who are moving to Uganda.  I was shocked by how tall were these little girls, all going into 4th grade, My Kid among them.  We met when they were babies and our talk was about diapers and strollers and weaning and we were lucky to put 2 sentences together in an hour long playdate.  Now the kids go off on their own and amuse themselves.  One mom calls it the sweet spot.  They’re still young enough to want to be seen with you but when they are with other kids watching them can be effortless for hours at a time.

My daughters childhood in Brooklyn flashes before my eyes.

Ssanyu and Mutessi were one of the first Mommy-Baby pairs I met when I started walking around and exploring our new neighborhood of Forte Greene, Brooklyn in May and June of 2001.

At the hotel in Seattle I awake at 3:00 am so sad that our friends are moving away.  So sad that our babies have been vaporized into almost-tweens.