Month: December 2008

another torch is passed

We walked in the door. Their Older Kid looked at My Kid and My Kid looked at their kid and they both asked, “Why would I know this person?” We told them we had photographs of them in the bathtub together, when they were babies. She was afraid to walk on grass. He used to crawl through the dog door. They looked at us like we were crazy.

We ate and talked of the city with the theatre where we’d all worked and started dating and had our weddings that were a month apart. The kids talked of Lego’s and watched videos.

My parents used to take us to meet other families in strange cities. We would look at their kids and their kids would look at us. The adults who were complete strangers would look at us in the eyes and say, “I haven’t seen you since you were a baby!”

We’d watch TV or play in the yard with the kids we didn’t know. Our parents would tell us we’d bathed together in a tub with these strange children. We’d roll our eyes in disbelief.

Our parents would hug each other and talk about long ago nurses training, college and weddings.

It was weird.

Now we are putting our kids through the same thing.

After a workshop with Chris Lynam

Last night, Jef organized a workshop with Chris Lynam, a clown who is in New York for the Broadway run of Slava’s Snowshow. It’s always good to meet new clowns. After the workshop, there were three conversations at once around the table at the diner. Jef and Chris were talking about working with Slava and working on their own work. I was talking to the only other woman from the workshop about writing and the other guys were talking about guys being goofy.

Walking to the train at the end of the evening, Chris mentioned another clown, Thomas Kubenick a Czech clown who has his own show that he tours around the world. It’s good. I’ve seen it. I met Thomas for the first time at Movement Theatre International in Philadelphia in 1990. He was at that time assisting Boleck Polivka who taught a workshop. I met him again when he showed up at the workshop I was taking with Ctibor Turba at his studio in Nectiny, Czechoslovakia (right before it turned into Czech Land–that’s what the locals called the Czech Republic–and Slovakia) I’ve been around a while, but it’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve gotten a handle on what may be my particular style…

I’m pretty much the opposite of Amy G. Chris took a call from her about a gig at a club. Organizing and coordinating are so not my thing that the passing mention of a woman I know putting together an evening of acts apparently caused me to have a nightmare. I had a dream, last night, about running a theatre space–like Annex where Allison Narver, Andrea Allen and Gillian Jorgenson have all been artistic director or the Brick where Audrey Crabtree is the face of the organizers of the New York Clown Theatre Festival. In this dream which was more like a nightmare, brought on perhaps by conversation about successful theatrical clowns and the women behind them, (I was reminded of the organized women behind the careers of monologists, Spalding Grey and Mike Daisey and cartoonist Gary Larson, not to mention the countless women who work as personal assistants, executive secretaries and stage moms (The Husband, My Kid, My Sister and I all saw Gypsy this week.) These passing bits of conversation caused me to have a nightmare about being in charge of an art space like Celebration Barn, currently run by the Amanda Huotari. In my dream there 4 toilets on the second floor that were all overflowing and unusable. The Marley dance floor in the rehearsal hall had been scrubbed with Comet by someone’s helpful visiting unsupervised mother and was now ruined… It was a nightmare.

Now, disorganized person that I am, I’ve got to hurry and help My Kid, (who is alternately yanking on my body an falling on the floor to prove the point of gross parental neglect) get dressed in a manner appropriate for both ice skating with her aunt at Rockefeller Center and hooking up at the Museum of Natural History with old Seattle Annex friends and their offspring, who are visting from Chicago.

Gotta go.

Steve Smith’s Big Apple Circus

We went to the Big Apple Circus, yesterday, My Kid, the Husband and I.  It is our holiday tradition.  Although on the way to the circus tent I pointed out to my long-limbed daughter the well dressed crowds coming out of The Nutcracker matinee and the posters advertising the upcoming production of Coppelia.  My Kid rolled her eyes and grunted in disgust.  Damn!  She looks so much like a ballet dancer too.  Oh well she is on the robotics team at school and this week plans to be a computer engineer like her father, I’d better not guide her towards a career that  one of my friends calls a long and painful road towards a job as a fitness instructor. * (see note)

Anyway.  The Big Apple Circus this year, “Play On” was a tight show, thanks to the direction of Steve Smith.  He was the director of Clown College the year that I went, and his two page description of the rehearsal process in the program sent me into a reverie of all that was good and pure and Steve Smith-y about Clown College when I was there.  For the circus program he wrote a description of the rehearsal process;  “Knowing the first day of rehearsal sets the tone for all the days to follow, we filled the practice ring full of enormous helium balloons, musical notes, flowers, ribbons, hopes, dreams, uplifting music, and artists from all over the globe.”  

He did that for the first day of Clown College too. The acceptance letter came filled with confetti.  I remember a huge balloon rainbow over the ring on the first day of clown college.  There were quotes posted everywhere around the arena, things like “Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”—Goethe.  That makes me think of Clown College so much and the (…at this point I was interrupted by my offspring and I no longer remember the thread of the post I had intended to craft into a lengthy homage to Steve Smith’s fiercely and intentionally crafted positive energy… and I was going to mention my friend Mark Gindick who was in the show…)

 I will have to write about how wonderful Clown College was another time.

I did get my application in on time for the 5e Festival Internacional de Pallases d’Andorra 2009.  Who knows if they will choose our show or even if Lorraine and I can afford the time or money to go to Spain.

 Tonight I will attend a Modern Clown workshop with British clown, Chris Lynam.  

Little by little…hope…ambition…luck  and fierce, intentional positive energy!

* (note:) Steve Smith also told us “Cynicism is an easy choice. Don’t make it!”

My very last hour before My Kid’s Christmas Vacation starts…

Last minute things to do

Buy tapes for the video camera

and batteries for toys…

Sparking wine for the Christmas morning mimosas…

Charge the camera and video camera batteries…

Water the tree…

Plan tomorrow mornings food shopping trip–gonna brave the crowds…

Is this room cold or has the blood from my fingers gone to my stomach to digest the cheese and crackers I’ve just eaten.  What if the heat’s gone completely out?   Oh how my mind wanders to holiday disaster scenarios.

I stayed at My Kid’s school past drop-off this morning, long enough to listen to the sing-along.  I am easily distracted from my to do list.  But, it was worth it.

Then I went into the Manhattan to search unsuccessfully for some accessories for a gift already in the pipeline.  What a waste of time.  I didn’t find what I wanted. What a waste of time.  I need to clean.  I need to shop for other things.  I need to shop for food.  So much for tasty treats for My Kids teachers.  Hey cut myself some slack, I organized the class gift.  But, I visualized giving them the dried fruit that they noticed in My Kids lunch…but I didn’t make it to Sahadi’s this week. Oh, well, as class parent I did put effort into organizing the class gift.  Oops I didn’t send any Christmas cards.  Too late now.  The Husband and My Kid are part Japanese, New Years Cards as a concept buys me some more time…  The candy canes finally made it onto the tree last night but the snowflakes and My Kid’s twelve tiny brass angels are still in the box.  Did I water the tree yet today?  

 I’m working on a clown festival application with a deadline of December 31.  Why did I wait so long?  What happened?  It was just Thanksgiving and now tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

My sister’s coming to visit–with her cat…kitty litter…  Does she still drink Diet Coke?  I don’t have any.  I’m such a bad hostess.

Times up! Gotta go pick up my kid so her vacation can begin.

Add New

The Husband just updated my WordPress program and it took me several minutes to figure out what to do because “Write” as an option is gone, replaced by “Add New” which is not the same thing at all.  This is confusing to me because I go onto my Clownmommy dashboard and click “write” when I want to write.  I don’t want to “add new”. Frequently, I want to write about something that has been bothering me for days or weeks or even years.  I want to  write about same old.

hot shower in the hope of relieving free-floating stress

I just got out of the shower, my second today. I didn’t get to the gym, but I allowed myself a nice hot mid-day shower because I am trying to get a handle on all this free-floating holiday stress. As a class parent I am way too anxious about the amount of money we have collected for teacher holiday gifts. I feel completely guilty because I have not been getting my maybe-she-has-a-cold-maybe-she’s-sick-maybe-she’s-just-tired kid to school on time. We’ve been 15 minutes or more late most days this week AND AS CLASS PARENT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE PERSON PEOPLE SEE AT DROP-OFF so they can give me cash for the teachers annual snowflake/snowman/polarbear/penguin secular holiday winter gift. I feel so much anxiety about this that it becomes obvious to me: This tiny task is a stand in for the anxiety I have about the larger economy in general and The Husband’s job in particular; various extended family members in various states of not-quite-OK; me producing a beautiful Christmas spectacular in my living room seven days from now including purchasing every speck of food and drink and toilet paper in advance because the stores are closed on Christmas Day (well maybe not TP the Korean deli will be open); clown work I am not promoting adequately; writing I am not doing; friends I am not seeing; Christmas cards I have completely blown off; how much energy–if any–will I have to devote to coaxing my spouse and offspring to a proper Christmas Eve Mass; when will I ever make it to the laundromat; the safety of Obama and his family; and as always–cleaning the apartment.

So I took a hot shower…

And as I was in the shower, I was remembering when My Kid was a walking baby and at the breastfeeding support group we were going around the circle sharing the ways we relive stress and I said I dragged the baby bouncer into the bathroom, sprinkled some Cherrios on her tray and took a long hot shower. I was very proud that I had a suggestion AT ALL! But, some buzz-kill PC mommy had to remind everyone that we should conserve water. I was chagrinned, embarrassed, guilty. Only in hindsight could I justify my position: “Hey I live in a walk-up, without a dishwasher and I have to cart my laundry (with my baby in a carrier on my back) several blocks in order to do it in a coin-operated public place. We had cars in Seattle but we don’t in Brooklyn. I think my global footprint is small enough to allow me take a hot shower to relieve stress when I am alone with a toddler and even though it seems like mid-day it could be ten hours before The Husband comes home from work!”
Wow!
That was a long time ago. Apparently I didn’t kill my kid. She is a beautiful confident 3rd Grader.
I just wish someone had been there to say “This too shall pass.” I am aware of how fast children grow. Yet…In the grand scheme of things– what future successful private practice medical resident can think beyond laying down to sleep within the next 30-minutes after being awake and working for 36-hours straight? Mommies are not much different.

Just another manic Monday

After The Husband and My Kid left for work and school I drank coffee and thought about laundry, but I dressed for the gym and unlike other days when I put on sweats I actually made it to the Y. I didn’t get there in time for the class I had intended to take but I swam laps and took two other classes in addition so I’m feeling a little bit proud of myself. It counts as clown work because I’m not really in shape or have the stamina (to perform a full-length solo stage show) that I would like to have. On the way to pick up My Kid after school I stopped at a grocery store to buy some things for dinner, which I them proceeded to carry from Manhattan to her school in Brooklyn and then to the Barnes and Noble on Court Street and then to the Modells on Atlantic and through Atlantic Mall and the rest of the way home. Next time I’m going to the expensive corner store near our apartment. After supper I took the subway back into Manhattan to catch the last hour of Clown Lab because it was the first one in several months. Jef is back in town for the Broadway run of “Slava’s Snowshow” and I wanted to touch base with him and the regulars. “Snowshow” was reviewed by Charles Isherwood in the New York Times today. I found his description of the show as a “delightful kiddie curio” offensive even though it was a positive review.

Slava's Snowshow
Slava's Snowshow

The show was fun today with lots of tots in the house!

We had a lively audience of people who were less than 3 feet tall. The Husband and My Kid were there and our friends with their 3-year-old and 6-month old. The performance felt a lot different today with so many little ones participating. Nobody really cares what we do when there are walking babies on the stage. Stakes are low and fun quotient high. It really worked today! Too bad we’re done.

There was talk of an extra show next week at the festival party showcase. But, we’ve got some scheduling issues in the cast and so we’re not going to do it again. I didn’t think it would ever turn anything more than a baby-music-circle-time-class on stage the first time we met to rehearse and got absolutely nothing done with the kids there in the space too. (But I’m a pessimist.) In the end we did develop something that was much more and it has potential to rise out of the diaper bags again.

I had a nice conversation with Amy Salloway who is in NY to perform her solo show, “Circumference”, at the festival. The Husband and I know her from Seattle when we were all in the fringe theatre scene out there. Amy said she was recently in Seattle and a lot of the funky old theatre spaces we use to know are gone. All slick and no charm now I suppose. She said the young people on Capitol Hill are all working a high maintenance goth look. Grunge was so a much easier. I totally used to wear a black skirt over leggings with Doc Marten boots with an oversized t-shirt under a plaid shirt on top. So did everyone else. (It bugged me so much when Bridget Fonda had it wrong in the movie “Singles” because she wore black nylons with her Doc Martens. The Hollywood foreigners co-opting our Northwest style got it wrong! Only opaque leggings or tights were ever worn under a skirt with Doc Martens!!!! (I suppose because I wore Doc Martens with skirts, I have no right to criticize the young ladies of New York in their UGG ugly boots.) Amy is loving New York and wants to live here. But how. How does one come up with the cash, or the job, or the relationship, or the scholarship to project ones self from the West or the Mid-west all the way to New York City to do theatre. It’s hard.

After we left the West End Theatre today, we walked down to 84th and had lunch at Ollies. Then we walked down to 72nd to catch some air before catching the train. That took about three hours because the 3-year-old and the 8-year-old had some shopping to do… My Kid introduced a pre-schooler to the wonder that is Claire’s. All those accessories. My Kid who does not yet have pierced earrings can’t get enough of the clip-ons. That store used to be for the tweens and teens who cruised the malls, but now with all the Hannah Montana, and Princesses and even Dora accessories, they’ve lowered their target market age to include the pre-school set.

Home now and My Kid is watching TV and The Husband is taking a nap.

My goal is to get them to the Brooklyn Lyceum by 8:00 pm tonight to see The Civilians “Brooklyn at Eye Level” at the Lyceum. It’s a theatre piece based on interviews with real people involved with the Atlantic Yards development (which I hate so much I could go on for pages and pages about how awful it is). The mommy friend we saw today is involved with The Civilians theatre company. Her biased opinion was that the show is great and we must see it.

OK blogging time is over now. My Kid is hungry.

I don’t know why I’m still awake except that I saw someone else’s solo show tonight

Tonight I went to see Victoria Libertoire’s “The Should Dream”, part of the Six Figures Artists of Tomorrow Festival. My my mind wanders to what I would do alone on the stage. What would my show be??? For one thing I would wear more clothes. Burlesque is not my thing (especially after what I saw in the dressing room at the store today. My torso needs more Pilates than I can afford.) When I was pregnant I realized; “Damn I should not have been too shy to be naked on stage or in photographs.” That body was cute and now it’s gone. Forever.

Victoria had great rapport with the audience. The old performer that was the framing device at the beginning and end of the piece was my favorite part of the show. Some of the transitions were absolutely seamless. It was an admirable evening of theatre.

I’ve always wondered what a woman would do if she wanted to be a drag queen, I think it’s burlesque.