Left the apartment before 8:30 am got home just before 9:00pm (With My Kid every moment of the day–a work day–my work day–)
I woke up this morning feeling anxious about the piece.
Then I checked my e-mail.
There was an e-mail from Lorraine with specific questions about the puppets and time elements.
Then I was really stressed.
Fortunately I had a scheduled conversation with someone to talk about “My Process” (aghhh how pretentious.)
When at 10am I told My Kid we were going to take the subway to the next thing on the schedule she burst into tears. I thought my plans for the day were shot. But, then she calmed down and we got something to eat, and she agreed to go with me to Clownlab at Theatrelab after I told her I would get her some packaged art activities at Closeout Connection. And then we went to Barnes and Noble. And then she got a Happy Meal from McDonalds. Finally, she had enough payment up front to go with me and be a good girl with her Barbie magic notebook and her new markers in the corner of the studio while I “worked” (I do it though I don’t believe I’m working and so I don’t always make accommodations for myself).
It had occurred to me to arrange a playdate for my kid, but I had also scheduled a dental appointment for her late in the afternoon and if she had a playdate in Brooklyn, I would have had to leave the studio an hour early in order to take the subway to go pick her up and take her back into Manhattan to see the dentist. It wasn’t a big motivation since it would have added so much more travel and stress to my day and cut my studio time by one third, and the only thing significantly affecting her quality of life would be her boredom quotient. And there is an approach to parenting that says maybe she should be a little bored this week so she can be excited to go back to school next week. Anyway, I bought her stuff, bought her off, paid her up front, as it were, for good behavior and silence. (good yes, silent not so much)
It’s good, for people who go into the studio to practice acting like a child, to see how an actual child plays in the studio (So what she did was run in circles like a rabid dog when “nobody was using the space” because all we were doing was talking–I said, “That was part of the workshop too,” and she tilted her head and looked at me genuinely puzzled. It sure didn’t look like we were doing anything.
I felt better after talking through my piece with those other people in the studio. I was reminded that in a situation like this, it’s about the process, not about the product.
So for the next two weeks, I will record here in my blog, my process because it’s not about the product. It’s about the process.
To that end, I spoke to Lorraine on the phone and was comforted to realize that we are on the same page, and if we aren’t we trust each other to do our part. Part–of the process…