New York City – Page 3

Falling Behind

I am exhausted and completely frustrated and my head hurts from clenching my jaw because My Kid did not go to school today. The lines were drawn and I lost the battle. She stayed up too late after we got home from the barbecue in New Jersey and I don’t know what happened but she was dressed and we got as far as the front door of our building where we then spent about 45 minutes of me being patient and using all my parenting skills not wring her neck.

When I finally told her through my clenched teeth that I was all out of patience, she sobbed; “You’re only out of patience, but I’ve got nothing!”

It’s not like she’s a toddler. I can’t pick her up and strap her in a stroller and take her anywhere I want. We don’t live in the suburbs or a small town, I can’t lock the door behind her so she can’t get back in the house has to make her way to school by herself. I don’t have a car I can force her into and let her cry it out on the way to school. Life is lived publicly and politically in New York City.

I gave her the choice of going back upstairs going back to bed and having a sick day with NO TV AT ALL or going to school. At this point she was going to be so late, a visit to the office would be required before going into her classroom and all the other little kids would be asking where she was, why was she late. Eventually Lorraine (who used to teach) came down and talked to her and we started towards Brooklyn Heights but first she was going to go with us to the bank. After that she said she didn’t want to go to school and I let her win, because I only have so much time before the performance on Thursday. So we’re on the way to the studio and she is coming with us.

More Standardized Testing

It’s not much of a stretch to imagine that someone who identifies herself as a clown would not think much of standardized tests.

So it is not a stretch to imagine how appalled I am that Mayor Bloomberg has announced a pilot program including timed paper-and-pencil assessments for children as young as kindergarten. That’s insane. Children spend the year of kindergarten learning to sit in a chair without touching anybody else, how to transition to circle time, again without touching anybody else, at least not hard enough to knock them off balance. In addition they must practice standing in line without playing with the hair of the girl in front of them. There are other activities involving reading and math. But, learning to sit in a chair when the teacher says it is time to sit in a chair is the main objective of the average kindergartner.

My Kid is going into 3rd grade this year, the first year of high stakes testing in New York City. She has been aware of THE BIG TEST for months. She has thought long and hard, and has decided the best way to prepare for this public evaluation is to brush her hair everyday

I too am being mature about the test. My fantasy back up plan is to pull her out of school in January and put her on a plane to Montana so my brother can teach her to ski like her Idaho born cousins because that’s a learning deficit in my family.

However, I think My Kid is actually looking forward to the test and would be really upset if she missed it.

Stay At Home Mom –NOT!

When I was preparing to begin a blog of my own, in my random cyber-wanderings I came across a blog that made me laugh. It wasn’t the wit of the writer, it was the subject matter. A man, a professional athlete had just become a proud stay-at-home-dad. His blog bragged about how smoothly his day went. He got up early and got in a good workout before his wife went to her job. Then he managed the care and feeding of the baby all day, accomplishing other tasks and getting in more exercise while the baby slept. He didn’t know why people complain about how hard it is to stay home with a child. There are no further posts.

I don’t want to be one of those people who start a blog and don’t continue. But, I also don’t want to chat and vent and whine. I want to write about what I do or try to do making my way as a theatrical clown in New York City at the same time as I am a “stay-at-home-mom” although apparently unable to stay home for more than a few hours at a time. Granted My Kid is in school now (except she’s not now–summer vacation has begun both “Finally!!!!!” and “Already???”) so it’s not like she’s a baby or a toddler. But, it did seem that going on the science field trip, attending the Second Grade Field Day, the Brownie Girl Scout Badge Ceremony and taking cupcakes to her class in honor of her “summer birthday” not to mention, the cleaning, that I don’t do enough of, but spend a lot of time stressing about and the cooking, that I don’t do enough of but spend a lot of time stressing about, and the laundry, that I don’t do enough of but spend a lot of time stressing about, and the hanging out on the playground so that she can run and play (before the summer becomes too hot), during which time I think to myself: “Surely there must be some high school or college student who could do this instead of me”. Except that it was lucky for me to be there talking to the other moms on the playground when it was decided to organize a week of Mommy Camp for those of us who haven’t registered our kids daycamp starting-right-away-like-the-moms-with-real-jobs and so there is the problem of what will our kids do now that school is out and all their friends are in day camp. I wouldn’t have been a part of this project if I hadn’t been standing around chatting with the mothers at the edge of the playground when the idea came up and Enthusiastic Mom ran with it and several multi-kid mom’s latched on because they hadn’t planned anything anyway because of upcoming travel or visitors or baseball or finances.

It’s a good thing I was there, because otherwise My Kid would spend all next week watching Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zach and Cody (I hate that show) and iCarly, television shows wherein My Kid learns that middle school is going to be great fun and grown-ups are sight gags. Meanwhile I would drink too much coffee and vibrate between the kitchen sink and my laptop trying to decide whether I should clean or cook or shop or do laundry or work on a clown piece or write or take My Kid to the park or the library or the beach or a museum and end up going to Target because it’s entertaining for her and has some errand accomplishing value for myself.

Instead, for this coming week my friend, Enthusiastic Mom, has already e-mailed me a spreadsheet schedule of when and where My Kid and I are supposed to be each day in order meet up with the other kids and mommies to do something stimulating and exciting with My Kid’s friends and assorted younger siblings.

Meanwhile, there is some life in my life on the clown front. The full-length show I proposed was not chosen for the New York Clown Theatre Festival this September, but they would like us to do a piece in one of their evenings of short works. I forwarded that e-mail to my puppeteer partner but she didn’t respond. Before I sent her another e-mail asking why she hadn’t responded and would she be able to be in town to perform with me, and what’s the matter didn’t she like the show we proposed or want to work with me anymore. I googled the summer theatre where she is running the prop shop and noted in their calendar that they had 4 different shows open this week, so I let it slide for now. I was on stage at the New York Downtown Clown Revue in a demonstration of Jef Johnson’s Clown Lab. Kendall’s next project, “Clown Axiom”, went into rehearsal on Friday and I was there at Triskelion Studio on Williamsburg (after schlepping my kid to a begged-for babysit/playdate in Brooklyn Heights and the end of the day I took the girls swimming at the Y and then for pizza and then donughts with My Husband and then the next morning my kid’s friend’s mommy called and said her daughter was still asleep at nearly 11 am. She reported that her child had gone from little girl to teenager in less than 24 hours.) I attended some Clown Labs at Theatre Lab and The Producers Club and I got a 4th of July corporate gig through a Ringling contact. So I’m not doing nothing.

But,

It feels like it sometimes.

*&%$#@ Standardized Test!

My kid brought home a test today 20/24, 84%. Can I just say my kid is 7. Can I just say she only missed 4 questions.

OK. Next year, third grade is a big deal test in New York City.

We are supposed to go over with our child the questions that they missed.

First question:

3. Charles Blondin was a brave man.

In 1859, He crossed Niagra Falls of a tightrope. Then he put on a blindfold and crossed the rushing water again. But, that wasn’t all he did. He walked the rope with stilts. As his last trick, he walked halfway across the tightrope. There he stopped for breakfast! He cooked some eggs and ate them. Then he made his way to the other side.

From this story you can tell: A. Blondin was a poor swimmer. B. Blondin was comfortable on the tightrope. C. Blondin was not afraid of water.

My kid chose C. which MUST BE TRUE but NOT AS TRUE as B.

The next question my kid missed:

1. Yin-May was was driving on the road. She saw an airplane over her car. It was a warm day and her windows were rolled down. Yin-May heard the plane’s engine go off and then on. This happened many times. The plane turned and came in low over the road. The plane turned again. Yin-May pulled off the road.

Which of these sentences is probably true? A. Yin-May was waiting for her mother. B. The plane had problems and needed to land. C. The pilot was counting the cars on the road.

My kid picked A. Misreading waiting for wanting. OF COURSE SHE WANTED HER MOTHER. SHE WAS A KID DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND A PLANE WAS GOING TO LAND ON HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Question:

In the 1800’s , a man from France wanted people all over the world to know that America stood for freedom. He asked an artist friend to help him. First the artist drew a picture of a woman wearing a long robe. He showed the woman holding a torch and wearing a crown. The statue was finished in 1886. Now it stands on Liberty Island. It has greeted many people who have come to America.

Which of these sentences is probably true? A. The man’s statue was never finished. B. The statue is the Statue of Liberty. C. The statue stands for all artists.

OK so My Kid visited the Statue of Liberty just a couple of months ago when her cousins were in town. FYI, on the island, at the museum of the Statue of Liberty MUCH IS MADE OF the delay, of the completed statue not making it to the US by the 1876 Centennial Celebration and of Joseph Pulitzers penny campaign for school children to help fund the pedestal for the statue because they didn’t have one ready when the statue arrived and they needed to complete the unfinished project, of the statue being in storage…

SO MY KID, WHO SEE’S THE STATUE OF LIBERTY FROM THE BROOKLYN PROMENADE ON A REGULAR BASIS, (and therefore knows it was completed) –because of all the delays she learned about… Plus, the Twin Towers that went down when she was 14 months old–the “Freedom Tower” is an unfinished project she’s heard about for as long as she can remember (freedom – liberty…What’s the difference?) My Kid chose A.

And finally:

3. Even though she didn’t speak, I knew Mom was mad. Her face was red. Her arms were crossed. She was standing in the doorway tapping her foot. I was late again. I tried to run to my room fast.

Which of these sentences is probably true?

A. Mom was pleased with me. B. People can say things without using words. C. Mom shouted, and I knew she was mad.

OK My Kid picked A which must mean she doesn’t pay any attention to anything I say or do, which according to the other mommies on the playground is what the other 7 and 8-year-olds are doing as well. (As in What part of; “Pick up your backpack we’re leaving now!” don’t you understand???)

I don’t know what to think of this except to think that “teaching to the test is teaching a child to STOP THINKING!”

I would like my child to know how to think.

Enough said.