kathie – Page 66 – Clownmommy

Kill Me Loudly

I saw Deanna’s show tonight. Spent the first few minutes obsessing about not having brought my Clown Axioms postcards to distribute. The woman seated next to me was looking over the Eric Davis/Bouffon Glass Menajoree postcard in her hand before the lights went out. (I thought to myself; “Hmm. I wonder how much those two sided postcards cost. Lorraine and I should have some made for the Clown Theatre Festival!”)

I was looking forward to seeing Kill Me Loudly because I was in the workshop last year where Deanna found her character “Butt Kapinsky”. It’s exciting to see something from a workshop develop into and evening of theatre and Deanna’s show was a success. She gave it to Eric Davis to direct and so her costume developed buffoon bulges. It wasn’t a surprise when Eric announced after the show, as he was inviting everyone in the audience to adjourn to the adjoining bar, that this show would be in the New York Clown Theatre Festival in September. Bouffon Glass Menajoree has been playing around town since it was in the festival two years ago.

Jeff Seal got to show off some of them clown skills he acquired out there in California and that was good to see.

Also that space, Milagro Theater at Clemente Soto Velez, on the Lower East Side is a good space. I wouldn’t mind doing a show there.

On the subway coming home my head was full of pithy and critical thoughts about clown theatre in general and Deanna’s show in particular, but when I got home My Kid was still awake and there was much ado about a bath, itchy ears, eating cherries and brushing teeth so now it’s all gone.

Also, I am still a little jet lagged.

The Husband just reminded me that it’s 1:30 in the morning and I have rehearsal at 10:00 am. So I’m going to close my eyes and go to sleep now in our new brass bed that was delivered at 8:45 this morning (thank God I didn’t leave clearing out the room for morning) Rehearsal today was at PMT from 10 till 2. Then I schlepped back to Brooklyn. I had to pay attention to My Kid. There e-mails to check and send before I could go to the show tonight. We’ve been scheduled for the New York Clown Theatre Festival Cabaret on September 11. I’m just waiting for Lorraine to confirm. (I wonder if she has 9/11 issues. She did fly out of Boston on that morning… I wonder if I have 9/11 issues… I saw the second tower come down from the Monument in Fort Green Park where I was standing with My Kid in a pack on my back.)

back in NYC

I have postings to post that I wrote in Montana at my parents house where there is no DSL.
My kid and I took the red-eye to from Seattle and were home by 7am.
Rehearsal at Triskelion at noon. It’s odd to come in so late in rehearsal, a walk-thru today. Rehearsal tomorrow and Sunday is tech.

murakami

We made it to the Murakami exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. Success! If we hadn’t gone today we would have missed it because it will close while we are in Montana. I wanted to see it because I have clown reasons to relate to the cuteness and corporateness and scariness, the Japaneseness of his art. A year after graduating from The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College (registered trademark) I found myself working as a clown and stiltwalker at Nagasaki Holland Village which can be compared to Main Street USA at Disneyworld, only it’s Dutch and in Japan. I spent most of my time posing for pictures with Japanese schoolgirls who shouted “Kawaii” (“cute!”) and crowded around me holding up their hands in a peace sign and smiling for the camera. At the time my clown wore overalls with a sash with a big bow at the back (“Nice obi.” commented one of the tech guys) and another bow in my orange clown hair. I bore a striking resemblance to Hello Kitty. On one of our days off we visited the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum and Peace Park. That same week George Bush The First ordered the bombing of Iraq.

smug anxiety

Despite having a good time on the 4th of July I spent a good percentage of the next day filled with anxiety and stress. I should have felt good that I had just had a paying gig, but then I watched re-runs of “I Love Lucy” with my kid and instead of enjoying them I thought about how when I first became a clown the knowledge that she did the “I Love Lucy” shows in her 40’s made me think I still had lots of time in which to make my mark as a clown. I’m not feeling that way so much anymore. (There is also the shrinking amount of time in which to clean and pack and get ready for our trip to Montana which must also include being ready to hit the ground running at Kendall’s rehearsals the day we get back to New York, –clearing and readying our bedroom for the delivery of a new bed, by far the biggest job on my list– and being packed and ready to go to Toronto the morning after the last performance of “Clown Axioms”.) I drank too much coffee until I suddenly had to eat or implode. I quickly prepared a breakfast of vegetarian imitation bacon and fried eggs for the three of us while I listened to an NPR interview with Barbara Kingsolver talking about her book about her year spent eating in season food they had grown themselves. People with the cultural capitol to write books that are published about such things generally begin their stories by describing the beautiful property that they own, this book is no exception. And so a bitterness tinged the fresh berries, greens and apple juice I had purchased for more than twenty dollars at the green market in the park that morning.

In the afternoon we went to see WallE at Cobble Hill Cinemas (second time for My Kid and I, first time for My Husband). We played in the park and ate an old-school Italian dinner at the Red Rose on Smith Street. Wine and pasta in the company of my small family comforted and relaxed me even without the smug joy of preparing the dishes myself using homegrown produce.

Mommy Camp went off with a bang and I am exhausted

Thank goodness today’s scheduled group Mommy Camp was cancelled because I am exhausted and I have to work the Macy’s Fireworks VIP audience tonight.

We decided on the way home from Coney Island yesterday afternoon that we did not need to get up early today and rush to the Painted Pot to decorate knickknacks in yet another fun-filled activity during our Mommy Camp Summer-Kick-Off Week.

On Monday we met at noon to see the 12:30 showing of Wall*E at Cobble Hill Cinema, afterwards we had pizza in a restaurant and spent the rest of the afternoon with water balloons (some of us until after 6pm) at Peirrepont Playground on the Promenade in Brooklyn Heights. On Tuesday we Met at Melody Lanes Bowling Alley at 10am (I ducked out to meet the cleaning lady at my apartment–she never showed–so I made phone calls about clown stuff and paid bills–she is here now with her mother–how embarrassing for me) and returned to meet the group again at Pierrepont Playground where we stayed until after 6pm. Then I brought My Kid and her friend home for a sleepover. We walked to Ft. Green from Brooklyn Heights through Fulton Mall, stopping at Cookies to buy cheap plastic walkie talkies CUZ WE NEEEEEED THEM FOR OUR SLEEPOVER!. At home we made tacos. The girls had fun cutting up tomatoes and lettuce with plastic knives. Then at 9:30 we went outside and walked to Fort Greene Park looking for fireflies. Two were captured. Many never made it into the jar, then one of the two prisoners escaped. The other was granted clemency and freed. The girls desperately needed a bath and so they had one. They were asleep by 11:30. But we had to get up early because I had a 9am appointment in Brooklyn Heights. I was late. The kids played Ninetendo in the waiting room. Then we met up with the others and took the train and a bus to Chelsea Piers to go ice skating. But, none of us had checked in advanced and the rink was closed to the public. So we went, as scheduled to the water playground next to Chelsea Piers and then (as a quick Plan B) to Dave and Busters in Times Square where everyone ate greasy food and the adults drank overpriced tropical drinks and spent too much on games for the kids. Afterwards we returned My Kid’s friend to her apartment where her mom had been home all day with a sick 4-year-old, a baby, and less than 24 hours to pack camping gear and clothes for a family of 5 before a flight to Colorado the next day. My Kid and I again walked home from Brooklyn Heights through Fulton Mall. (Meanwhile Enthusiastic Mom took her son to a baseball game at Yankee Stadium and they got home at midnight) I think we ate Chinese take-out. I think we watched “So You Think You Can Dance” on TV. I was beginning to wonder if the week of fun would ever end. Nope not yet. Next on the schedule–Thursday morning we met on the Q train for a trip to Coney Island; Astroland unlimited ride bracelets, Nathan’s cheese fries. Sand and Sea. And the inevitable melt-down. My Kid was too short to ride the pirate ship but her friend was tall enough. So My Kid got to play some games and win some MORE stuffed animals to add to the clutter in our apartment.

Enthusiastic Mom had e-mailed us a spread-sheet schedule of the week’s planned activities. The kids were all supposed to wear the same colored shirt each day (so they would look like a group just like real day camp kids) which they took seriously. Monday was white, Tuesday was red, Wednesday was blue, Thursday was yellow. We discussed changing plans, but unfortunately our kids are old enough to read and in fact had been studying the schedule. The children would not allow us to deviate much from what had been printed. (Thank goodness they were also exhausted by Thursday night so we could cancel today–which isn’t really a day of nothing since it is the 4th of July and that involves at the very least schlepping out somewhere to stand with a crowd to watch the fireworks and then schlepping home in the dark and possibly rain.) That’s why we still had to go to Astroland at Coney Island even though we had spent the previous afternoon at Dave and Busters in Times Square. They are effectively the same thing from a spending money for nothing point of view.

All in all it was a good week. But, I will be glad to get back to My Kid’s version of Mommy Camp which is much more like homeschooling with reading and writing, math and science, and art (what can I do that’s what My Kid said she wanted…) But, we’ll be going to Montana for two weeks and accompanying My Husband on a business trip to Toronto in August so I don’t know how many days of this brand of low-key educational mommy camp she will actually get.

Stay At Home Mom –NOT!

When I was preparing to begin a blog of my own, in my random cyber-wanderings I came across a blog that made me laugh. It wasn’t the wit of the writer, it was the subject matter. A man, a professional athlete had just become a proud stay-at-home-dad. His blog bragged about how smoothly his day went. He got up early and got in a good workout before his wife went to her job. Then he managed the care and feeding of the baby all day, accomplishing other tasks and getting in more exercise while the baby slept. He didn’t know why people complain about how hard it is to stay home with a child. There are no further posts.

I don’t want to be one of those people who start a blog and don’t continue. But, I also don’t want to chat and vent and whine. I want to write about what I do or try to do making my way as a theatrical clown in New York City at the same time as I am a “stay-at-home-mom” although apparently unable to stay home for more than a few hours at a time. Granted My Kid is in school now (except she’s not now–summer vacation has begun both “Finally!!!!!” and “Already???”) so it’s not like she’s a baby or a toddler. But, it did seem that going on the science field trip, attending the Second Grade Field Day, the Brownie Girl Scout Badge Ceremony and taking cupcakes to her class in honor of her “summer birthday” not to mention, the cleaning, that I don’t do enough of, but spend a lot of time stressing about and the cooking, that I don’t do enough of but spend a lot of time stressing about, and the laundry, that I don’t do enough of but spend a lot of time stressing about, and the hanging out on the playground so that she can run and play (before the summer becomes too hot), during which time I think to myself: “Surely there must be some high school or college student who could do this instead of me”. Except that it was lucky for me to be there talking to the other moms on the playground when it was decided to organize a week of Mommy Camp for those of us who haven’t registered our kids daycamp starting-right-away-like-the-moms-with-real-jobs and so there is the problem of what will our kids do now that school is out and all their friends are in day camp. I wouldn’t have been a part of this project if I hadn’t been standing around chatting with the mothers at the edge of the playground when the idea came up and Enthusiastic Mom ran with it and several multi-kid mom’s latched on because they hadn’t planned anything anyway because of upcoming travel or visitors or baseball or finances.

It’s a good thing I was there, because otherwise My Kid would spend all next week watching Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zach and Cody (I hate that show) and iCarly, television shows wherein My Kid learns that middle school is going to be great fun and grown-ups are sight gags. Meanwhile I would drink too much coffee and vibrate between the kitchen sink and my laptop trying to decide whether I should clean or cook or shop or do laundry or work on a clown piece or write or take My Kid to the park or the library or the beach or a museum and end up going to Target because it’s entertaining for her and has some errand accomplishing value for myself.

Instead, for this coming week my friend, Enthusiastic Mom, has already e-mailed me a spreadsheet schedule of when and where My Kid and I are supposed to be each day in order meet up with the other kids and mommies to do something stimulating and exciting with My Kid’s friends and assorted younger siblings.

Meanwhile, there is some life in my life on the clown front. The full-length show I proposed was not chosen for the New York Clown Theatre Festival this September, but they would like us to do a piece in one of their evenings of short works. I forwarded that e-mail to my puppeteer partner but she didn’t respond. Before I sent her another e-mail asking why she hadn’t responded and would she be able to be in town to perform with me, and what’s the matter didn’t she like the show we proposed or want to work with me anymore. I googled the summer theatre where she is running the prop shop and noted in their calendar that they had 4 different shows open this week, so I let it slide for now. I was on stage at the New York Downtown Clown Revue in a demonstration of Jef Johnson’s Clown Lab. Kendall’s next project, “Clown Axiom”, went into rehearsal on Friday and I was there at Triskelion Studio on Williamsburg (after schlepping my kid to a begged-for babysit/playdate in Brooklyn Heights and the end of the day I took the girls swimming at the Y and then for pizza and then donughts with My Husband and then the next morning my kid’s friend’s mommy called and said her daughter was still asleep at nearly 11 am. She reported that her child had gone from little girl to teenager in less than 24 hours.) I attended some Clown Labs at Theatre Lab and The Producers Club and I got a 4th of July corporate gig through a Ringling contact. So I’m not doing nothing.

But,

It feels like it sometimes.

*&%$#@ Standardized Test!

My kid brought home a test today 20/24, 84%. Can I just say my kid is 7. Can I just say she only missed 4 questions.

OK. Next year, third grade is a big deal test in New York City.

We are supposed to go over with our child the questions that they missed.

First question:

3. Charles Blondin was a brave man.

In 1859, He crossed Niagra Falls of a tightrope. Then he put on a blindfold and crossed the rushing water again. But, that wasn’t all he did. He walked the rope with stilts. As his last trick, he walked halfway across the tightrope. There he stopped for breakfast! He cooked some eggs and ate them. Then he made his way to the other side.

From this story you can tell: A. Blondin was a poor swimmer. B. Blondin was comfortable on the tightrope. C. Blondin was not afraid of water.

My kid chose C. which MUST BE TRUE but NOT AS TRUE as B.

The next question my kid missed:

1. Yin-May was was driving on the road. She saw an airplane over her car. It was a warm day and her windows were rolled down. Yin-May heard the plane’s engine go off and then on. This happened many times. The plane turned and came in low over the road. The plane turned again. Yin-May pulled off the road.

Which of these sentences is probably true? A. Yin-May was waiting for her mother. B. The plane had problems and needed to land. C. The pilot was counting the cars on the road.

My kid picked A. Misreading waiting for wanting. OF COURSE SHE WANTED HER MOTHER. SHE WAS A KID DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND A PLANE WAS GOING TO LAND ON HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Question:

In the 1800’s , a man from France wanted people all over the world to know that America stood for freedom. He asked an artist friend to help him. First the artist drew a picture of a woman wearing a long robe. He showed the woman holding a torch and wearing a crown. The statue was finished in 1886. Now it stands on Liberty Island. It has greeted many people who have come to America.

Which of these sentences is probably true? A. The man’s statue was never finished. B. The statue is the Statue of Liberty. C. The statue stands for all artists.

OK so My Kid visited the Statue of Liberty just a couple of months ago when her cousins were in town. FYI, on the island, at the museum of the Statue of Liberty MUCH IS MADE OF the delay, of the completed statue not making it to the US by the 1876 Centennial Celebration and of Joseph Pulitzers penny campaign for school children to help fund the pedestal for the statue because they didn’t have one ready when the statue arrived and they needed to complete the unfinished project, of the statue being in storage…

SO MY KID, WHO SEE’S THE STATUE OF LIBERTY FROM THE BROOKLYN PROMENADE ON A REGULAR BASIS, (and therefore knows it was completed) –because of all the delays she learned about… Plus, the Twin Towers that went down when she was 14 months old–the “Freedom Tower” is an unfinished project she’s heard about for as long as she can remember (freedom – liberty…What’s the difference?) My Kid chose A.

And finally:

3. Even though she didn’t speak, I knew Mom was mad. Her face was red. Her arms were crossed. She was standing in the doorway tapping her foot. I was late again. I tried to run to my room fast.

Which of these sentences is probably true?

A. Mom was pleased with me. B. People can say things without using words. C. Mom shouted, and I knew she was mad.

OK My Kid picked A which must mean she doesn’t pay any attention to anything I say or do, which according to the other mommies on the playground is what the other 7 and 8-year-olds are doing as well. (As in What part of; “Pick up your backpack we’re leaving now!” don’t you understand???)

I don’t know what to think of this except to think that “teaching to the test is teaching a child to STOP THINKING!”

I would like my child to know how to think.

Enough said.

Feeling Guilty

I’m going over my calendar and feeling very guilty right now. Kendall is working on a new show that I was hoping to be in, but most of the rehearsals will take place during our trip to Montana (for My Kid to spend time and celebrate her birthday with her grandparents and her cousins and also for me to attend the wedding of a childhood friend). When we bought our plane tickets–of course we put it off too long–there was a lot of finagling with dates and times to get to fly free to Seattle with our JetBlue miles. As it is The Husband and I are traveling separately because he has a new job and doesn’t want to be gone more than a week. Feeling a little blue in the wake of my parents departure after My Kid’s First Communion I wanted to extend our stay a little. Also My Kid is not signed up for any day camp here in NYC so I was anxious to schedule some more of her summer days at a “vacation location”. If we had gone two days later and come home on the 20th with The Husband instead of the 24th (which enables My Kid to do some special activities with her cousins) I would only have been available for two more of the scheduled rehearsals. That’s not much help. Why do I feel so guilty? Is it because I’m Catholic? Is it because I’m a woman? Is it because I’m a mother? Is it because I exist?

Googling Randomly

I should be doing a million things (like cleaning–yuck and writing grant proposals–yuck), but instead I am hiding from the heat in our air-conditioned bedroom next to our sleeping daughter googling randomly. It started with an on-line search for Brownie Girl Scout Try-It badges (because I have to get the requests into her leader today.) I thought I could find badges she could get for the work she did in preparation for her First Communion or as a member of her school’s FirstLEGO Robotics team (there must be a badge, we saw Girl Scout First LEGO League teams at the Javits Center in April)

Then I googled Cirque du Solelil’s KOOZA because I was still thinking about this weekend. I had hoped to see the production which was playing in Philadelphia yesterday when we were there and there were matinee tickets available. I knew this because had the concierge check for me. (KOOZA was concieved and directed by David Shiner whose workshop I was taking last fall when the seeds for the piece I did last week were planted) But, My Kid didn’t want to go see the Cirque du Soleil (Her concept of the show was probably damaged by the Simpson’s unflattering “Cirque du Puree”). She was there to swim in the hotel pool and we had already dragged her to one theatrical experience not of her choosing. The Husband wasn’t backing me up, and I wasn’t selling it well. We live on the East Coast, KOOZA will be in the region for months, it was not our only chance to see the production. Other than seeing Bill Irwin’s show we were just there for a relaxing weekend get away. My Kid has been sick, The Husband was tired and the weather was HOT. So even though we could see the trademark tent from the hotel–nobody but me thought it was a great idea to go there. Sigh.

David Shiner worked with Bill Irwin in “Fool Moon” which The Husband and I saw together in Seattle. I googled Bill Irwin because he’s, well, he’s Bill Irwin and I saw his show this weekend. I enjoyed the fact that his home page hasn’t been updated recently enough to include the current production even though it’s nearing the end of its run. Bill Irwin led to the name Bruce Hurlbut, who played the piano for “Scapin” on Broadway and also for the melodrama “The Drunkard” at the University of Montana when I, as a short thin high school student, played the child in the show. His name led to the website of a new theatre in Washington full of our old Annex friends including Andrea Allen and Allison Narver and Jack Bentz who we had hoped could marry us but who wasn’t quite finished with seminary when we looked into it at the time. I think he hooked us up with the priest from Seattle U who did marry us.

Gosh I feel so connected.

Baggy Pants and Big Black Shoes

As The Husband and My Child are playing miniature air hockey (it’s really cute 6-inch table we got at the gift shop of the Please Touch Museum) on the train from Trenton, as we make our way back to Brooklyn from Philadelphia, it seems as good a time as any to write a blog entry.

Halfway through Bill Irwin’s show last night, my heart started racing as my mind wandered from his work, “The Happiness Lectures” to my work and what if anything I would do next. Thank God I can’t compare myself to him since in addition to being a MacArthur and Tony award winner he is also tall and male, two things that never come into play when I create my own work.

When I was at Clown College (Class of ’89, Bill Irwin who I’ve shaken hands with but don’t know, was Class of ’74) there came a point, when we were watching lots of black and white silent movies and learning the classic slap and fall gags. Almost everyone went to their designer and said they wanted big black shoes and baggy pants. The women in the class were told point blank that they couldn’t have big black shoes and baggy pants “…because Mr. Feld only hires girl clowns who look like girls.” We were told the number of women clowns who were hired depended on the number of show girls who were hired. Women clowns lived on the showgirl car. More showgirls meant fewer slots for women clowns and so those who were hired had better look like girls. Otherwise he may as well hire a guy and avoid the complications.

I don’t know why I thought of that, except that Bill Irwin does so much with his baggy pants and his big black shoes.